Praise God, all glory to Him for getting me through an awful round of post-partum depression. I thank Him for blessing me with an amazing husband, mother, family, and friends to help me through a most difficult time. I've been well for exactly one week and one day. I'm no longer plagued by anxiety and the physical side effects that went along with it. I enjoy FOOD! I've probably gained 10 pounds because I'm so happy to not have to force myself to eat. I have every intention of dieting starting next week. Relieved, I can't express to you how very relieved and grateful I am. I just can't. I am a happy person again, HAPPY!

So thank you for your prayers and encouragement. I ask that you thank God and praise him for answering.

Have a wonderful weekend!

Love to all!

Whit

Hello all! I hope this finds you doing well. I'm doing pretty good. Not quite, 100%. But I'm not going to focus on my well being anymore. Recently, a friend of mine shared a tool that has been very helpful with this PPD. I was reminded to just accept that this has happened and focus on the future. And that's just what I'm doing. There is much to look forward to:

1. My friend, Mikka, is turning 30 on Wednesday. Even though I wont be there to celebrate with her, I'm excited for it to happen.

2. The Lea Co. Fair, in Lovington, is next week. I'm going to take Caden to ride a few rides, watch the parade, and check out the livestock entries.

3. Wesley's birthday is August 20th. He would like to have a BBQ or something at the house or go to a Rockhound's game in Midland. I'm thinking the game sounds less stressful. I hope that's what we do!

There are other things like a trip to FLORIDA. I simply can NOT wait to find a beach a breathe in the negative ions and relax. It will be good.

I could actually make a really long list of the things I'm looking forward to. But instead, I need to get off of here and accomplish a few things around the house.

Know that I love you,

Whit

I've been doing pretty good. As a matter of fact, I've started to rate my well-being. Yesterday, I decided I was operating between 85 and 90 percent. 100 being my goal, even though I have enjoyed many days of 110%. That got me to thinking about how lucky I am that I usually operate at 100%. There's no telling how many people feel worse (in one way or another) than I do for days, months, and years on end. I'm sure there are many that would dream of those 85-90% days. I'm thankful to be doing so well.

I haven't thrown up since Saturday! It's such a relief. I still get an upset stomach and diahrrea, but whatever. I'm getting better. That's all that matters. Yep, I'm getting better even though I've been challenged. Wesley worked late Monday night...I'm ready for a break at 5:00 p.m., and by 7:00 I'm usually pulling my hair out. But I survived. Then Tuesday at 4:00 Wesley came home sick. I just put him in our room and that was that. No break until Caden was in bed, but I survived. Yesterday, it rained all day and the sun didn't come out...didn't make for a cheerful day, but I survived and survived at 85-90% at that! I thought that when Wesley got home I would just go and lay down in bed. Instead, I decided that a long walk by myself would be even better. It truly was! I came home, made dinner, and it was a good night. This morning has been good. It's still overcast and cool, but I'm doing even better. A solid 90%. All thanks to God. I know He's heard your prayers and my own. I know that's why even though there have been challenges this week, that I'm still improving. I'm really starting to feel good and the heavy feeling is starting to lighten up.

Here are two Bible verses that I've drawn on for strength and encouragement.

Psalm 118:24  This is the day which the Lord hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it.

Deuteronomy 31:8 The Lord Himself goes before you and will be with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.

I'm remaining patient and faithful, I know that I'll get to 100% soon. In the meantime, know that I love you.

Sorry for the last post, I'm better today. Yesterday wasn't easy, BUT I didn't throw-up. AND, I was able to get myself back to sleep during the middle of the night Sat. night. Guess what else? I was able to get back to sleep last night, too. I managed to put off the upset stomach until 7:00 this a.m. I only had diahrrea, no throwing up. It's real progress. My appetite is still weird, but whatever. It only took about two hours for me to get to feeling better this a.m. I'll be back to my oldself in NO time! I KNOW it!

I've been playing Jimmy Buffet in the truck for a long time, now. I like happy music. Anyhow, when I was trying to get back to sleep last night this is the chorus that played in my head.:

We've gotta roll with the punches
Learn to play all of our hunches
Makin' the best of whatever comes your way
Forget that blind ambition
And learn to trust your intuition
Plowin' straight ahead come what may

My babies are both doing really well. Maybe I'll get some pics or video up tomorrow.

Love!

I've been feeling pretty okay these days. I've been at home for over a week now. Wesley has been great. I'm so thankful for him. My mornings are weird. I wake up when Mattie wakes up, whether it be 2:30 or 5:30 a.m. I fight to try to get back to sleep. I try so hard. I start getting really anxious and then the damn diarhhea starts. Sometimes, I'm able to get back to sleep but that sleep is usually plagued by weird dreams. Wesley's alarm clock goes off at 6:00 and I lay in bed and try to sleep. Then Caden wakes up between 7:00 and 7:30, and I'm up for the day. I continue to have diarhhea and usually throw up. Except, for Thursday and yesterday, I didn't throw up. I make myself eat bread or crackers, even though I don't want to I do because my stomach is growling. Then around 9:30, I just start feeling better. From then on, it's smooth sailing and I feel fine. I don't struggle to eat lunch or dinner.

 Wesley didn't get home until after 7:00 last night. It made for a hard evening. Maybe that's why this morning was another throw-up morning. I'm so damn frustrated. First off, I'm walking 2-3 miles a day and throwing up almost every morning...you would think I would have lost weight. Nope. Can't I lose some weight if I have to deal with this? That brings me to being hungry. I think about great big I-HOP breakfasts all of the time, I WANT to eat a big breakfast. I'm tired of not physically being able to. I'm so tired of it. I want to enjoy sleep again.  I want to feel NORMAL again. I'm such a happy person and I feel like I'm being robbed of my happiness. I'm just so damn frustrated.

I know things are getting better, but they can't get better fast enough. I've been doing my best to stay strong, but I'm getting so tired of this shit. I'm just venting, I'm mad that this morning was a set-back...when every day seemed to be better than the last. I'm mad that I couldn't make it to the bathroom to puke and had a mess to deal with on top of feeling crappy. Maybe today was the breaking point and it's going to be easy going from here on out. I sure hope so. I will be better. I will be better soon.

Love to all

Thank You, Lord, for an easier day. I have faith that tomorrow will be better because of You. Amen.

Here are some pics from the past week or so. Hope your computers don't crash trying to download them all! There are pics of Mattie at 10 weeks, 1 day old. You can compare them to Caden's 2 month old pics using this link...December 28th, 2006

Caden in his backyard...

Caden at Bam & PawPaw's, he is eating dinner and talking on the phone to his beloved Uncle Cody...

My girl...

Love to all!