July 18, 2009
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I've been feeling pretty okay these days. I've been at home for over a week now. Wesley has been great. I'm so thankful for him. My mornings are weird. I wake up when Mattie wakes up, whether it be 2:30 or 5:30 a.m. I fight to try to get back to sleep. I try so hard. I start getting really anxious and then the damn diarhhea starts. Sometimes, I'm able to get back to sleep but that sleep is usually plagued by weird dreams. Wesley's alarm clock goes off at 6:00 and I lay in bed and try to sleep. Then Caden wakes up between 7:00 and 7:30, and I'm up for the day. I continue to have diarhhea and usually throw up. Except, for Thursday and yesterday, I didn't throw up. I make myself eat bread or crackers, even though I don't want to I do because my stomach is growling. Then around 9:30, I just start feeling better. From then on, it's smooth sailing and I feel fine. I don't struggle to eat lunch or dinner.
Wesley didn't get home until after 7:00 last night. It made for a hard evening. Maybe that's why this morning was another throw-up morning. I'm so damn frustrated. First off, I'm walking 2-3 miles a day and throwing up almost every morning...you would think I would have lost weight. Nope. Can't I lose some weight if I have to deal with this? That brings me to being hungry. I think about great big I-HOP breakfasts all of the time, I WANT to eat a big breakfast. I'm tired of not physically being able to. I'm so tired of it. I want to enjoy sleep again. I want to feel NORMAL again. I'm such a happy person and I feel like I'm being robbed of my happiness. I'm just so damn frustrated.
I know things are getting better, but they can't get better fast enough. I've been doing my best to stay strong, but I'm getting so tired of this shit. I'm just venting, I'm mad that this morning was a set-back...when every day seemed to be better than the last. I'm mad that I couldn't make it to the bathroom to puke and had a mess to deal with on top of feeling crappy. Maybe today was the breaking point and it's going to be easy going from here on out. I sure hope so. I will be better. I will be better soon.
Love to all
Comments (10)
Bless your heart sweetie, I can only imagine how tough it is for you right now. Sleep is a HUGE issue, those who do not struggle with this do not understand how much lack of sleep affects ones life. I know that most do not want to try a sleeping aide, but sometimes its the best thing you can do for yourself. I struggled for years with insomnia. It affected my entire life and health. Finally a doctor prescribed Ambien CR. Its the best thing in this world. It allows me to sleep, I can get up through the night to use the restroom or attend to a need from my boy, and I can return to bed and sleep! It has given me my life back!!!
I am so proud of you for doing everything and staying strong, and I will pray for you and your needs. I wish there was something more that I could do for you, I truly do!
Lifting you in prayer!
I am so sorry you are struggling with this. Between puking and not sleeping I would be a bit on the cranky side myself-actually I think you're holding it together darn well considering. I do hope this pattern breaks soon or you might need to do like candy said and get something to help. Hang in there sweetie-this too shall pass.
(((hugs)))
Yep. Today is your last day of being sick. That's it - no mas. Love You
How awful, it sounds like leftover morning sickness almost. Hang in there!
This tough time will make you appreciate your happiness even more. You are the best, stongest, wisest person ever. You have helped me become who I am and helped me out of my darknedd a dozen times so I know pulling through this will be nothing!!! I hope you can go with me to Amarillo next Friday!!!
I love you, Whit. You are in our prayers every day.
Old Hat
Mornin Glorie...Venting is good....but I hate like hell that your having to go thru this - I wish I could come help, but know....ILYM
"Many things--such as loving, going to sleep, or behaving unaffectedly--are done worst when we try hardest to do them". - C.S. Lewis
Dang....now all I can think of is I-Hops Strawberry International...You should try to go to Amarillo with Mikka...ILYM
Hopefully by the time you get this you will have had two more good days. I am sure everyone here wishes we had the answers for you, we really do. Not knowing all the facts might I suggest one thing? I found out last year I am lactose intolerant. I can no longer have anything with dairy, not even a smidge. No milk, no cheese, no yogurt, no ice cream, no cream sauce, nothing. When it first started occuring my symptoms were similiar to yours, and mainly because I would have only one glass of milk a day, and it was with my evening meal. It would take about 12 hours from consumption to a full blow out, if you know what I mean, for me, so thus I always felt crappy, pun intended, in the morning. I dunno honey. Again I wish I had the answers, but I don't. Know that you are loved, and continually in my prayers. I thought about you Sunday when I was out for my morning walk. As I turned the corner of the road heading towards the rock quarry there was a herd of 7 wild horses heading to the waterhole nearby. I wish you could have been with me - Gal
@NVGal - Too funny! I thought about you this weekend! They had a wild horse adoption in a town north of here. They made a big deal of it on the news and everytime it came on, I thought of you! Cool. Love ya!
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