The story of how I met my husband, Wesley, actually starts in 1996. I was dating his cousin. I met Wesley at a couple of my then-boyfriend's family functions. I remember being under the impression that Wesley was a few years younger than me. I also remember that he was quiet and that I had to make him talk to me. I didn't see him much and wouldn't say that we were friends, more like acquaintances. My relationship with Wesley's cousin was over by the end of 1999. I sometimes saw the ex's family and they would update me on everyone, even Wesley. I learned that he went off to college to play football and eventually got married.
Fast forward to 2005, lots of life had happened to me. I was single and living every moment to the fullest. I had a bunch of single friends and we had the best of times together. I worked very hard and was under much stress during the work week. I also played hard, weekends were filled with friends, drinks, and loads of dancing. I was always up to something or planning some great adventure. One nite at "the bar" in Hobbs, I bumped into a couple of girls that I was friendly with. We didn't hang out together, but we always spoke to one another. This particular nite they had a guy friend with them and introduced me to Wesley. I didn't recognize him but I remembered who he was. I gave him a "hello again hug" - you know the one arm, halfhearted hug. He tried to talk to me but the band was blaring and honestly, I had a goofy cowboy waiting for me back at our table. I was polite but excused myself, I had my eyes on someone other than my ex-boyfriend's cousin. I scurried back to my table and proceeded to dance the nite away with Goofy Cowboy.
I want to kick myself, now. Why didn't I just talk to Wesley? It isn't the last time I'll want to kick myself as I tell this story.
When summer came, the weekends were spent drinking and dancing on Friday nites and attending the circle track races on Saturday nites. Goofy Cowboy was no longer a fling, he had been converted to a friend...most all of my "flings" became friends. On my radar was a race car driver and that relationship was mostly just a friendship, anyhow. Looking back at it, he really just wasn't that into me. He isn't the sharpest tool in the shed. I'm not sure why I was lowering my standards for those guys. I suppose it was to avoid any kind of real relationship. My goal wasn't to get married, just to have fun.
One nite after the races, a bunch of my friends and I were having a few beers while we watched the drivers load their cars into trailers. At one point I found myself alone just watching the action. Then Wesley came walking by, "Hey!" I called out. He stopped, grinned his big grin, and walked over. "Hey" he replied. We proceed to have a really nice conversation. We chit chatted about his family. I learned that he was divorced and he learned the same about me. It was a fun, flirty conversation. He ended it by asking for my number when he saw that my girl friend was walking our direction. He certainly wasn't the shy boy I remembered. That nite my girl friend and I ended up at a diner having breakfast. She asked me what I thought of Wesley. I told her I didn't know. I really liked him but I didn't think it would ever work with his cousin being my first real love who married someone that despised me and that the little gap in his front teeth sort of bothered me.
Again, kicking myself. What trivial and superficial things.
The next afternoon Wesley called me. We had a great phone call. We shared so many things in common, a love for the outdoors, camping, riding 4-wheelers, shooting guns, working hard, you name it. I learned that he was not that much younger than me after all, three months and 10 days to be exact. He asked if I wanted to go to the movies with him that nite and after having such a good talk I said "why not?" At the time he lived in Seminole and I lived in Lovington. Hobbs is located 30 miles from Seminole and 20 miles from Lovington. Hobbs is where you find any entertainment in these parts. We met up at the movie theatre in Hobbs. He bought our tickets and snacks and he held all of the doors open for me. We watched The Wedding Crashers, well I say "we" but honestly I can't tell you how many times I caught him staring at me. Even after the movie was over he just stared at me. I was sitting there, waiting for him to say something about the movie but he just looked at me. At first, I was a little flattered, then I thought there may be something wrong with the guy. We visited outside of the movie theatre for a while. Mostly, I talked while he just stared. I wondered what happened to the Wesley I was on the phone with earlier? He was so chatty. We shared a kiss goodbye and headed our separate ways.
He called me the next nite just to chat. I just couldn't make up my mind about how I really felt about him. I decided just to be cool and keep the relationship extremely casual. The next weekend found me helping bartend at the bar in Lovington. The place was pretty dead. I decided to call Wesley to see if he would come. And sure enough, he showed up a little before closing time. The owner, a few friends, Wesley, and I all stayed up there for a while. It got late and I hated to send Wesley all of the way home, even thought the thought did cross my mind. Instead, I offered to let him stay at my house. I was going to have him sleep on the couch, but my brother lived with me and had the couch occupied. So, honest to God, I made him sleep in his clothes on top of the covers while I slept under the covers. He was probably pretty cold because I keep it cold enough in my house that I need to sleep under the covers. I kissed him goodnite, then said "okay, don't try to kiss me again because I'm NOT having sex with you." Oh my God, I can't believe I just straight up told him that. I didn't want him getting any ideas and he was totally respectful. That was such a long nite, I was so exhausted...yet I slept none. Why? Because Wesley snored, like a freight train, in my ear all night long. I wanted to scream. It was really hard to be nice to him the next day, being so tired and all. We ordered lunch and I kept waiting for him to leave. The afternoon hours drug on and on and he never left. I wanted to tell him just to "go!" Finally, a mutual friend of ours called him and wanted to know if we wanted to go on a double date to the movies. I asked what movie and Wesley told me "Wedding Crashers." I thought to myself, the same damn movie? It's not my fault you didn't watch it the first time. I conceded to going only for fear he would stay until midnight! He stuck around until he had just enough time to drive to Seminole, shower, change, and be in Hobbs for the movie. He gave me a big hug and I'll never forget him saying "only two hours, until I see you again." I wanted to scream! You've got to be kidding me? He had invaded my space all night and day. I needed some "me" time. At the time I could not understand how could anybody want to be with another person for hours on end. For as much time as I spent partying with my friends, I spent just as much time alone. I felt like he was smothering me. I called him about the time he should have been getting home, made up a story, and said I was so sorry but I had to cancel.
Kicking myself, again. Why couldn't I get over myself? Here was this perfect gentleman and I could've cared less. Dispicable.
That week, I ignored many of his phone calls. A week or so later I went to Key West and had a grand time. I remember telling my cousins about this guy that was really nice, really sweet, I should totally be going for him...but he's just too nice. I did, however, think enough of him to buy him a souvenir t-shirt. I figured we could at least be friends.
I got back from vacation. The summer was over. A power shift at work made life a million times more stressful. Wesley called one night and asked what I was doing. I told him I was trying to unwind from a stressful day. I asked him what he was up to and he responded "I'm about to drive by your house." He had gone to visit his grandparents who conveniently lived a block away from me. I took a deep breath and blew it out into the phone. "Well, you can stop if you want to. You can't come in. I'll just meet you outside. I just have to warn you, I'm not in a very good mood." Oh, I was such a witch. I can't believe he still stopped. We sat on my tailgate for a while. I proceeded to tell him that I just didn't think it would ever work out between us. I told him that I was afraid it was possible I was attracted to him because of the ties I had once had with his cousin. And that was partly true. They were both tall and had nice voices. There seemed to be so many similarities between the two of them then. (Now, I don't think there is ANY comparison.) I was pretty candid. Actually, regrettably, I was just harsh. I think he got the point. I was diplomatic about it but also really blunt. He didn't seem the least bit hurt and at least he left with a t-shirt.
Kicking myself, again.
We continued to talk occasionally. I called and wished him a Happy Birthday. I kept it friendly. He didn't expect anything from me. And he was actually keeping his space. I enjoyed talking to him, when we did talk.
The last nite of the circle track races were in September. They were immediately followed by a dance in the infield. People parked their vehicles on the race track and it was an all night party. Of course, I was there. I was not one to miss a good party! I was enjoying myself, dancing, and visiting with friends. I saw the racecar driver guy with his new girlfriend and I wondered what I had ever seen in him. He was such a dweeb. At one point, I went with my girlfriend to get her jacket. Her car was parked outside of the track. We had to walk across the dirt track, through a gate that goes under the bleachers to the parking lot. She was talking about her loser boyfriend and why he was no good for her. And during this trek to the parking lot and back, I started to think of Wesley. My heart began to sink. He was certainly no loser, quite the opposite, actually.
When we headed back through the gate that led onto the track, there, at the finish line was Wesley. He was with a group of people gathered around a friend's truck. His timing could not have been more perfect. I was a pretty good ways away from him. And I just stood there staring at Wesley. At that very moment in time, it was like I was struck by lightning. BAM! My chest felt like it was going to explode. A curtain was lifted and I could think clearly. He was the one. I had no doubt in my mind. It was then and there that I fell completely in love with Wesley. In a split second, I realized that those little things that bothered me were actually good qualities. It meant that he was into me. He respected me. Why couldn't I see it all along? As I stood there, silently watching him in his blue and white plaid shirt I realized just how handsome he was. Why didn't I see that before? My friend questioned me "Whit?" I said "oh I'm going to go and talk to Wesley." She went on her way. I stood there in awe just a split second more. I had never in my life felt this way. As I started towards him I was struck with sudden panic. What if he was with a girl in that group of people over there? It had been weeks since we last talked. He was a real catch, what if some other chick out there was smarter than me and snagged him? I would just have to go and knock his socks off, that's what I would do. I started walking even faster, more confidently. I literally had tunnel vision, everything was dark and wavy, everything but Wesley. It was as if a spotlight was shining down on him. As I reached the truck I had a huge smile on my face, I knew that he could have a girl with him, but I didn't care. I didn't take my eyes off of him. He smiled back and started to say hi, but I didn't say a word. I didn't stop coming towards him and I didn't greet him. I simply wrapped my arms around his neck and laid the biggest, most magical, better-than-the-movies kiss on him right there in front of the entire group of people. I'll never forget the look of surprise on his face...and everyone else's. Thankfully, he wasn't with a girl. He wore a huge grin on his face after that, so did I. I was on cloud nine the entire nite.
As a matter of fact, I was on cloud nine the rest of the year. Our relationship was so easy. I never had to worry about whether or not he would call or show up. There was no drama. I looked forward to our time together on the phone or in person. We respected one another. We loved one another. I used to have a list that I carried around in my billfold after I got a divorce. It was a list of expectations that the next man I married would have to meet. It was a very detailed list ranging from emotional support, to hobbies, to religion, to kids, to income. Once, I showed it to one of my best guy friends and he said that no such guy could ever exist. "Good luck with that one, Whit." Well, I swear to you that Wesley met every single requirement. I am convinced that he is my soulmate. It takes a special man to be with me. It takes more patience than most mere mortals possess and Wesley is one of the few to have it. He is patient and he is kind, he is my love.
We've had our ups and downs, but there have been far more ups than downs. People say the first year of marriage is the hardest. Ours was so easy and we even brought a baby into the world. To this day I look at him and I think he is the most handsome man I've ever seen. That gap in his front teeth that I was nit picky about, turns out to be one of the most attractive things about him to me. All of those things that once put me off, now turn me on. (Except for the snoring, I'm happy to say that I took him to a sleep clinic where he was diagnosed with sleep apnea and now wears a C-Pap mask. There is no more snoring.) He has become my best friend. I'm so in love with him. I appreciate him. I'm entirely devoted to him. I'm so lucky and THANKFUL that God brought him into my life. Tomorrow is our third wedding anniversary, and I'm even more attracted to him and in love with him now, than I was that nite at the finish line.
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