We went and did the whole Polar Express thing again this year. Except it was in Lubbock...and might I add that it was sooo much better than Grapevine's Polar Express experience? Who would have thunk it? I guess the only thing that wasn't as great was the depot and the really old trains.

Like I said my camera is slowly breaking down on me. (I'm waiting for Wesley to accrue enough safety points at work to get me a new one.) These pics are REALLY dark.

I can't tell you how hard it is to get the two of them to look at the camera at the same time!

On the train!

Caden was sooo happy to hold his ticket!

Caden waiting for the conductor...

Getting his ticket punched... 

Hot, hot, hot, hot chocolate!

So, the train took us to the "North Pole" outside were lots of elves dancing and the big, jolly man himself. Caden was plastered against the window watching all of this. And then, Santa starts walking towards the train. I told Caden, "look Santa Clause is getting on the train!" He was sitting next to his Dad on the window side at this time. I can't tell you how quickly he scrambled over his Dad saying "move Dad, me sit here!" Just so he could get an aisle seat and be a little closer to Santa. He could hardly stand it that he had to wait for all of the other kids to talk to Santa. We were the very last ones to talk to Santa Clause...soo hard for a 3 year old. Anyhow, he got his special silver bell and put in his request for a "quad."

I enjoyed it as much as he did. I think we'll do this as long as they offer it.

 I've taken a bunch of pics this December. My silly camera is biting the dust, flash is no longer operable. Anyhow, I'll post them in increments over the week.

Well, I've just been completely and totally busy. I haven't really stopped in the past I don't know how many weeks. This is my fault. I ask too much of myself. Just thinking about all of the stuff I've done is enough. I'm not going to detail it all here. Plus, a special person reminded me that this is not the time to whine. I've got too much to be thankful for.

I will whine for just a moment, though. This was my first Christmas since my brother was born that I haven't spent with him. Breaks my heart a little bit. I know it's silly, there will be many more in the future that we will spend together. But it just does. Last night when I read The Night Before Christmas to Caden, I thought about my brother. It was the one night we stopped fighting when we were little and would sleep in the same bed. Mom would come and read us The Night Before Christmas. Even in our teens, we did this. After Mom read to us, we would lay there and just talk nonsense about what we thought we were getting, what we wanted, what we gifted, you know that sort of talk. As we got older it was a time when we communicated on a friendly level. Sincerely asked one another how we were doing. In the mornings we would wait for Mom to give us the green light to fly into the living room. My brother is one of the funnier people to grace this Earth. He is always making us laugh. Anyhow, while this Christmas was amazing. My children and parents made my heart soooo full, but that very heart hurt a little when funny things would happen and Code-Man wasn't there to expound on it. My heart hurt a little when we were done opening presents and Caden wanted to get the rest out but was told "No, No, Those are for Uncle Cody & Katie." My heart hurts a little when I think about how very close we once were and how far apart we seem to be growing.

On a much lighter note...this was still a very special Christmas. The first Christmas morning in my very own house! Playing Santa Clause was too much fun! Caden really understood the whole concept this year. He said a million funny things. When he woke up this morning, before I gave him the green light to go into the living room we had the following conversation:

Me: Hey kid! Merry Christmas!

Caden: Merry Christmas!

Me: Do you think Santa Clause came to see you last night?

Caden: Yes!!! Me heard Santa Clause up on the roof!

Me: You did?

Caden: Yes! Me DID!

Me: What do you think he brought you?

Caden: Santa Clause bring me a quad (a 4-wheeler).

Me: You think so?

Caden: YES, Santa Clause bring me a quad and me do backflips

Me: Really?

Caden: Yep, Colten do backflips, me do backflips

Well, ol' Santa Clause did bring Caden a battery powered 4wheeler. I can't begin to tell you how hard we all laughed watching him. It was pretty great. Seeing his smile and hearing him yell "YEE HAW!" just made my day! He did have a few scares though and has decided that he doesn't need to do a backflip any more. I've breathed a sigh of relief about that more times than you can count.

Mattie was a joy. She enjoyed the wrapping & tissue paper the most...don't all babies? She was a great calm little girl. Just content and happy. She is such a beautiful little baby, inside and out. My Mom got her a few toys that she'll play with when she is older. I'm so looking forward to playing with her.

There are more things I need to write about one of these days. This is the short version:

1. Eating Chinese food and wanting to sing "FA -RAH-RAH-RAH-RAH---RAH-RAH-RAH-RAH" really loudly, but I didn't. Everyone in the restaurant was so happy, waiters and customers alike. It was a nice night.

2. Best Christmas present, EVER. EVER. You know the kind that make you cry.

3. Santa's Elves.

4. Icy Roads.

5. Gumbo.

6. Cranberry Cake...speaking of which, I'm going to grab a glass of milk and a big hunk of cake and call familia.

I've never watched It's a Wonderful Life entirely. I hear it sort of makes you cry...I try to avoid crying at all costs. I can hear you now and imagine recieving copies of it next year, but I'm not watching it anytime soon. One day, but not now.

Goodness, I got off track. What I'm trying to say is that even though I haven't watched the movie I know, I KNOW how VERY lucky I am. I KNOW that Jesus Christ is the reason for this season and why I'm as blessed as I am. I am SO BLESSED. And that even though I don't always get what I want, I get what I need. (Thanks, Rolling Stones) My cup still runneth over. And it IS A WONDERFUL LIFE.

Merry Christmas with deep and sincere love from my heart to YOURS.

Well, two of my fellow Xangans have posted rambling posts. Of course, rambling here on Xanga is my specialty! I've failed to do so here lately because sometimes I think it would be more like venting than rambling. Know what I mean? I'll try and keep the venting to a minimum.

Mattie can sit up now! It's so cute to walk into her room and find her sitting up like a big girl in her crib. She isn't crawling forward yet. She still goes backwards. But she does this sit and spin move until she gets where she wants to go.

Caden is making me crazy. Actually, I think we are making each other crazy. I did it, today I gave my first real spanking in a Wal-Mart. I know there are some of you reading this that don't spank. And that's fine, but you might be really tempted to if you had Caden full time. He is just REALLY ornery. He is also very tenderhearted. He is really a special child, but he pushes me. He just pushes me. I know it's an age thing, but I'm over it.

This calico cat was dumped out here. She kept coming to the backyard and playing with Caden. I had resigned to having no pets right now. But, she would not go away. Would NOT. Caden started calling her Calli Cat - like his Aunt Lou's calico cat. I would throw her scraps every now and then, but refused to make her a pet. She now looks pregnant. I caved and bought her a food & water dish, and cat food. I'm such a sucker. Until I get a special place to do cakes, she is staying outside though. No ifs, ands, or buts about that one.

Dealing with financial aid stuff sucks. I do not qualify for a Pell Grant. Which I think is total bull-shit, pardon my french. You know, I've contributed many times the cost of a grant into social security that I'll never see. Why can't I get a little bit of help from the Feds to further my education to make some extra cash to put back for my retirement? Wesley doesn't make enough to allow me to go to school full-time and put the kids in day care. So, it's part-time school for me. I could go on and on. I don't believe in taking a lot of hand-outs from the government. I don't. I think people should try and make life style changes first and then recieve assistance. It really pisses me off to see someone use an EBT card and then jump in their new Cadillac with shiny rims. So WHY doesn't everyone get a grant to further their education? Okay, so I'm not for running our country into further debt. And that's why everyone shouldn't get a grant. I'm also thankful that my husband makes the paycheck he does. I just get pissy when I think about the social security I'll never see. Sometimes, I just think I should get some of that back in some form or fashion.

I'm being pretty crafty this Christmas.

I'm really happy.

I've got a VERY busy schedule.

I'm not sending Christmas cards...again. I feel like such a scrooge, but it's not in the budget right now. Maybe once all of the shopping is done, I'll revisit the possibility.

I've got a Facebook, but there is no real depth there. Plus it's not the forum I would ever choose to share some things. Also, why do people that make no effort to speak to me in public friend request me? Really? And then I got a friend request from a guy that wrote me a ticket for speeding, it was at a really hard time in my life and that ticket wasn't cool. I was trying to get my brother to school on time. NO, I'm not going to be your friend. Just for that.

Well, I better jet. Love to you all!

Not a WHOLE lot of time. Just a quick note. Hosted Thanksgiving Dinner here at my house. I've done this before, but it was the first time I said I was doing the turkey. I was a little nervous about it, but it turned out just great! We had 16 or so people, mostly Wesley's family...but thank goodness my Mom & Dad came. It turned out to be a really nice day. Really nice outside, really nice food, really nice people.

I had to take a picture of the bird since it turned out so pretty.

Now, I'm most proud of this "little turkey" though...LOVE HER!

That's it for now folks! Love!

1. Babysitter, my 5th grade teacher's son was my first gig. And I was in the 5th grade at the time. And sometimes it was while she was out late. It's kind of strange to think about now, I'm not sure I would let a 5th grader babysit for me and I'm not sure I would let my 5th grader babysit. I think times have changed. I babysat a lot of kids in my time, a LOT. Two year old triplets...I still have great memories from that.

2. Rubbing Mamaw's feet. She would give me a little pocket change. I would pay a few quarters for someone to rub my feet about now!

3. I worked at a haberdashery for a while my senior year of highschool. It was a pretty nice place...the owners were great salesmen and I learned a lot from them. I also made them a lot of money. It was a fun place to work. I also learned about men's fashion - some things I wish I hadn't. Because I sort of want to tell men with their bottom suit buttoned, to please, please unbutton it. I could go further into detail here, but I wont.

4. I worked as a waitress. After my training and I was on my own, I ended up spilling tea on my very first customer. A lady in her Sunday best. God bless her heart, she was really nice. I quit after that, I took it as an omen...plus the cooks were really mean to me.

5. I worked at an Afterschool program. I still wonder how some of the kids that were enrolled are doing. One boy had the greatest first and last name. I'll never forget that.

6. I worked as a temp in a basement of a bank. I can't remember what I was doing exactly, but I remember being down there. They wanted to hire me full-time, but I got a better offer.

7. I also did a brief stint doing phone surveys for some sort of city or state government. I really appreciated all of the people that took the time to take those surveys. I almost always stop and take surveys when people call me. I know what it's like to be treated like a tele-marketer...when you're not.

8. I've worked at two different phone companies and did a number of different jobs. I used to be referred to as the "phone lady." Actually, I loved telecom. I'm sort of sad sometimes that I've let the technology get so far ahead of me. Anyhow - at the phone companies I: provided customer service - in person and on the phone, operated a switchboard, collected, ran a call center, was the training coordinator, worked in outside sales, developed and streamlined order entry stuff, cashiered, managed people...I could go on and on.

9. I worked the night desk of a Super 8 a couple of times. That was...interesting.

10. I've cleaned offices. If you work in an office environment - please, don't throw things AT the trash can throw things IN the trashcan, empty coke cans before tossing them, do not leave used tissues anywhere but in the trash, and MEN - please, please HIT THE FREAKING BOWL...seriously, is your aim that bad at home? Women should also pick up anything they throw towards the trashcan and make in. And this is Amercia, our plumbing works pretty good...you don't have to throw poopy tp in the trashcan...and if you can't get over your habit of doing this, then please at least wrap it in another piece of paper. I always did a little more dusting or whatever for those people that didn't make extra work for me. Remember that.

11. I've worked as a door person, waitress, and bartender at a bar. I also ran a few pool tournaments there.

12. I've been a substitute teacher.

13. I've worked as a secretary in the Special Ed department of a school system.

14. I've flipped a house...once. I still haven't forgotten how hard it was. One day, I might forget and only then would I ever attempt it.

15. I've delivered newspapers, flowers, and mail.

14. Baking and decorating cakes is my newest passion.

I've done a lot of stuff that I haven't been paid to do. And I'm sure I'm missing a few gigs here and there. But, it's been fun racking my brain.

Mattie splashes much more than Caden ever thought about. Pretty sure her Auntie "M" turned her into a mermaid.

The past week and a half has been a whirlwind. So many times I would find myself singing that one line "the things we do for love."

In case you didn't know, Wesley and I are both going back to school. A while back Wesley said, "you know I'm just going to start taking a couple of classes. I really want to get my degree. Just to have it." I told him that was a great idea! I might start looking into doing the same. Around the same time a friend of mine called for my opinion on a few things. One of the things I told her is "this is you're one and only life on Earth. It's up to you to decide how you're going to live it." I decided that I want to get a lot out of this life. I want to learn more, see more, do more, give more, love more. At one point, I was going back to school to become a teacher. I really wanted to teach on the Jr. High level. I enjoy kids of that age and felt like I could make a difference. Then Caden came along and school was put on the backburner. Anyhow, I started looking into what it would take to finish. I still wasn't really serious about it. Then, I know this sounds so cheesy, I watched Pearl Harbor. There is a scene after the bombing where nurses are flying all over the place helping people. I wondered what I would do if something awful happened and I was around. I would feel so helpless for not being able to help. Then I thought about how my Great-grandmother, Grandmother, Aunt, and two cousins are all nurses. I thought about how I could do important volunteer work as a nurse. For me, I think I would be able to give more and volunteer more as nurse. I weighed how it would affect my immediate family vs teaching. I think for now, this is a better fit. I may still go back to school for teaching one of these days. Afterall, it's my one and only life. Actually, I think I'll probably be continuing my education for a very long time. So, I'm taking the pre-reqs for the nursing program in Hobbs. I have been reluctant to tell anyone that I'm going back to school, because I know they will ask what I'm studying. I'm hesistant to say I want to be a nurse. You see, I haven't taken my A&P courses yet and they make a huge impact on your acceptance to the nursing program. So, I don't just want to advertise it in the event I really suck it up and don't get in. I know I'll do fine and get in...but just in case, I want to save face. That's that. I'm taking 6 hours but it's crammed into half a semester. I'm also basically going through Wesley's college algebra course, too. It's making for a really busy fall.

Last week we had plans to help Cody & Katie move home from "Moka Moka." We had planned on leaving Friday, but it just got really hard. We ended up leaving after trick-or-treating here on Saturday. This was Caden's first year to really trick-or-treat. We had to practice at first, because we would ring doorbells and Caden would just try to open the door. It was a good learning tool for him. By the time we had hit about a bunch of houses Caden was telling me to let him do it himself. I would have to wait little bit away from the house because he said "NO, MOM, me do it. Stay mom. Stay. Me do it me-self." *sigh* His independence is heartbreaking.

We left town and managed to get as far as Shamrock before I insisted we get a hotel. It was 1:00 a.m. afterall! Anyhow, we got on the road Sunday a.m. and made it to Enid a little after lunch. We spent the afternoon loading Cody & Katie's stuff up into the the little red trailer we were pulling. After that, we drove a few hundred more miles to Chandler to visit my Dad. It's been quite a few months since I've got to hug is neck. I miss him and know he missed the kids, too. I just wish we could have stayed longer. We got a room there that night. Met Mom for breakfast the next a.m. and then hit the road. We went to Wheeler to visit Mamaw and the rest of the fam.

On the way, between Elk City and Wheeler. We had a near miss. We met a truck that was pulling a trailer full of pallets that weren't strapped down. As we were meeting him, he lost all of the pallets off the trailer. One of the pallets was coming straight for our windshield. Wesley had to swerve all over the place to miss the pallet. I had been turned around trying to get Mattie situated and just saw the trailer we were pulling twist a few times. By the time I turned around, we were in the wrong lane and that was all. Wesley told me about all of the pallets on the road and the one coming right at us. We both quickly agreed that the good Lord was watching over our little family because we didn't hit a pallet one. And I'm telling you if you had seen our trailer move the way it did, you would have thought we were about to roll. It wouldn't have taken much. Wesley said he saw the pallet that was flying through the air at our windshield go right past my window. Thank you Lord for protecting us and keeping us safe.

So we arrived in Wheeler. Mamaw had gone to Pampa to grocery shop, so we visited Aunt Beverly. Lanette, Tammy, & Andrew came over. We saw Mamaw and visited briefly. We made plans to have dinner together at Todd & Tammy's. We saw Bret, my cousin that lost his house in a fire last spring. He took us out to see his new house. I can't tell you how proud I am for him and his family. I know how much work they put into their new home. I took this shot at their house. I wish I had more time and a better camera. I would have composed the picture a little differently. But the harvest moon surely is beautiful, isn't it?

We went to Todd & Tammy's for a great dinner. Enjoyed Todd's elk hunting story. Caden of course enjoyed playing with Jaten. And I know Mattie ate up all of the attention she got. My family means so much to me. We left that night and went to Amarillo. Wesley had an appointment in Lubbock at 1:30 Tuesday afternoon. So, we got to Amarillo and into our room around midnight. We left the next a.m. got to Lubbock and went straight to the doctor's office. We spent a total of 3 1/2 hours in that place. Wesley fell playing softball this summer. Apparently, his wrist has been fractured this entire time. They casted him up and we were finally on our way home. I realized I made an over-site on homework and had an assignment due the day we got home. It was due at midnight, I managed to hit the submit button at 11:59.

I started getting pretty sick Wednesday. By Thursday I had to go to the doctor. Sever sinus infection. Antibiotics were prescribed. The kids were both fine. Today is the first day that I actually feel better, though. Friday, Wesley left for a hunting trip. So it was me and the kids. I had a cake to do for a baby shower in Lubbock on Sunday. So, Cody & Katie came and got Caden Saturday afternoon. I worked on cake until 2:00 in the a.m. That's a long story. It wouldn't have been so bad but the stupid grocery didn't pull a few things off their shelves that were expired and I lucked out and bought them. Of course, I can't use expired goods! It was another pink & zebra cake. Apparently, the first one was a hit. I've got to do another one this weekend, too. I'm so tired of zebra.

Wesley pulled into the drive just as I was loading Mattie up to go with me to Lubbock for the shower. So, I left her with Wes. Went to the shower, came back, Cody & Katie dropped Caden off, and I did more homework.

This week I've got to clean like crazy, shop, and get ready for cake. I've got a scrapbooking thing at my house on Saturday.- I don't scrapbook, but a couple of friends do. When one of the girls asked if she could crash my house for a scrapbook party I said ok. I am going to try to make a little something, hopefully a Christmas present! Cash is pretty tight these days. I think I'm going to try and give only hand made gifts or garage sale finds for Christmas presents this year. Maybe a combo of the two! Next year shouldn't be soo bad, Mattie wont be on formula. That'll be a huge bonus!

Speaking of Mattie, she is just a doll. I love her sooo very much! She is starting to scoot on the floor. Like Caden did, she is scooting backwards. The other day I was unloading the dishwasher and heard her fussing. She had scooted her self under a coffee table and her feet were pushing against the wall. I had to grab this quick pick before rescuing her.

She has also cut her first tooth, lower right. I'm so sad! It wont be long until her gummy smile turns into a toothy smile. My baby is growing.

Well, if you're still with me, thank you. I know that was an awful lot to get through. Just random stuff, but I just wanted to try and log it.

Love to you all!

Please pray for my Xanga friend, NVGal. She has suffered a great loss. You can read her last two blogs for detail. She has just been on my heart and mind. I surely would appreciate any prayers for her. I'm sure it would do her good to know you're praying, too. Leave her a comment. Thanks in advance.

Love to all,

Whitney

Not much time to write. Kids are still up, Wesley MAY be coming home soon. I should be putting the kiddos down, but I know he'll need the computer to work when he gets home. I really wanted to get a chance to get these pics posted before this weekend.

These are pics from last weekend. I kept this Longhorn's shirt that Caden wore for Mattie. I pulled it out Saturday so she could root for Texas, too. It's too little, though.  

Caden at around 4 months old:

Here is Mattie, of course Caden got in on the action. Mattie is 6 months now. This series of pics makes me smile. These kids make me smile. Life is better because of them.

My big boy turned 3 on Tuesday. I worked super hard to make him a really awesome cake. I just didn't realize how time consuming it would be. I didn't get it finished, but I worked right up until we opened presents. It was a basketball...sort of. Anyhow, I took Caden to Mickey Dee's for chicken nuggets for lunch...and let him have sweet and sour to dip them in. Mom came over that night, we had pizza - because it's his favorite, opened presents, and ate cake. Simple and sweet celebration. Mattie got Caden a coloring book and three matchbox cars. Wesley & I got him "PiderMan unna-hares" (SpiderMan Underwear), SpiderMan gloves and tobogan, and a basketball goal. Bam & PawPaw got him a real digital camera and a Sit-N-Spin. I can't tell you how many times I've said "cheese" in the past two days.

Love to you all!